Conduct in This Era

How amazing do you want to be? Here’s how to look and feel totally confident in all your interaction with people.

Words not to use
First of all, a list of words and phrases that should never be used in conversation except in special cases. Conversation containing these words is commonly referred to as "hedging", and is especially bad at a job interview. Take note.

Maybe

you know?

I hope

I wish

could

would

may

might

um

sort of

kind of

alls (New England "Alls you have to do")

. . .I mean . . . (always say what you mean)

and plus (this is ridiculous but people say it all the time)

I said . . . is what I said. (Also sounds less than confident, but is used frequently)

Avoid redundancy at all costs.

Intoductions
Most of us introduce people better in foreign languages than we do in English. For instance, in Spanish "Me permite presentarle (name)" means "Permit me to present (so and so)." But how many times have you been introduced that formally? Most people don't know how.
In a very formal situation, such as a dinner, you say "May I introduce you to so and so(followed by their relationship to you, i.e. 'my sister'"
In a casual situation you say "This is so and so, my (relationship)". Be sure to throw in an appropriate ice-breaker under all circumstances.
Proper introductions go a long way toward making new acquaintances feel comfortable with eachother.

The proper handshake
Likewise, when most people are introduced properly, they have no idea how to respond. The answer is the handshake, which is poorly performed by most of the younger members of our society. When shaking someone's hand, grasp their hand firmly (you're not going to hurt them) and maintain eye contact. You might even nod your head slightly towards them in a gesture of acknowledgement.

Posture
Stand up straight. When you slouch it says "Pass me by." But when you stand straight it says "I'm a contender! Bring it on!" If you slouch, this could take months to correct, but it can be done. You will be utterly amazed at the difference this makes in people's attitude towards you.

Dress
If you want to be taken seriously, wear a suit. People look at you so differently, it's amazing. I've had grown men I've never met before treat me with so much respect, almost awe, simply because I was standing straight, speaking clearly and confidently, and wearing a suit.

So have fun with that :D
Chris

The Little Boy Who Cried Wolf

Everybody knows the story of the little shepherd boy who, in a misguided attempt to attract attention, began screaming to the village for help against a wolf attacking his sheep. There was, of course, no wolf, but the naturally sympathetic and kindhearted villagers rushed to the boys aid. When they found neither wolf, nor dead sheep, they chastised the boy and returned to their work.
The next part of the story attests to the resilience of human kindness. When the boy ran to the village once again for help he didn't need, the villagers rushed, once again, to his aid. Unfortunately, the boy had overplayed his hand. Soon thereafter, a wolf appeared in the field, and not one villager responded to the boys screams as he was eaten alive.

Why are all children's stories so shocking?

This story, I am convinced, deals with the social issue of lying, but is also applicable to many other social issues, which I'll list shortly. For instance, imagine a person shouting. They have passed the point where they can talk rationally, or even think. They no longer care, or are perhaps no longer aware of people trying to communicate with them. They are just shouting. Now imagine what happens to their mind; they are no longer thinking, and they are no longer interacting with other people. All they feel is anger. Shouting numbs the pain temporarily, even though they'll probably feel terrible when they finally regain their senses. As I am fond of saying, it melts their mind.
Other "mind-melters" include swearing, television, porno, drugs and alcohol, mostly addiction. Basically, anything where people are just allowing things to happen to them. Their just allowing themselves to be fed the news, or allowing themselves to feel high for a while. In the case of swearing, they've stopped saying things, and meaningless words come out of their mouth for no reason. With the exception of porno, which is always dehumanizing, any of these things can be useful in small amounts; swearing lends emphasis, alcohol accentuates a celebratory mood. It's when you lose yourself to them that people stop caring.

Like the third Cry.

Now imagine the "villagers": the person being shouted at. How long will it take before they realize that the shouter can't be helped because he isn't listening? I can tell you they'll lose sympathy very quickly. Pretty soon they won't care at all.

In my experience, people respond very well when spoken to as fellow human beings. We're all happy to help, or change for, someone we care about, and who cares about us. When we're merely objects to shout at, well, you know what it's like.

So let's take a look at humanizing things! The opposites of "mind-melters" inspire creativity, thought, and a range of emotions far beyond anger or comfortable numbness. These are things you love. They can be a good relationship with your family, playing and listening to music (not tuning it out!), going outside,true friends, running, helping people out, writing, or whatever it may be. A lifestyle full of these things is the most rewarding way you can possibly live. I guarantee it.

Leave Kudos!
Christopher